.Monday, February 27, 2006
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1st dae of attachment at NUH, ward 63. the very 1st tyme we go for attachment, got this nurse manager told us, 'beware of ward 63!' n oh oh. im there. argh. the sista(the nurse in charge of tat ward) was indeed preety. n she was strict too. she very particular to each things dat her stuffs do. n yea, she scolded my dear mr f(he's a staff nurse). this mr f is cute u knoe. but he pelat r ah. hehe. he's kind ar. care to teach us new things. indeed the staffs there are kind. but there's one or two la dat's not so kind. heh. hmph. so far im doin ok ryte now. hope everything goes well for this 15 days. counting yea. cant wait! but den, i have to go through trainings too. for the festival thingy. argh. den i cant commit dat much. im sorie guys! im a goin-to-b nurse. wad do u expect to do? haha. im sure i wont dilly dally when it come for training ok. haiz. first day alreadi my leg n back aching alreadi. tired. feel like sleeping. argh. i want to do on my case study. c u ard. take care whoever u r. muaks.
.Sunday, February 26, 2006
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gawd. im missing hym. i realie am. i cant stand it. argh. plz stop haunting mee, uan. please. i cant stand pretending not to b myself. im trying hard to be as crazy as hym. whenever i c hym, im crazy. i dont care. im not ashamed. im trying not to. argh. todae, believably, somebody told me he wants me. but i didnt want hym. coz he's one of the silat crews n i dont want him. i want hym. hym. not him. u understand? argh. i dont want to hurt hym by acccepting him. i hate when he(him) wud tell everyone dat im his gal n dat he's contacting me. argh. but. aaarrrggghhh!! how i wish i dont hav dis dillema. argh. stay single ana. stay single. no strings attach. coz u'll get hurt the 'donno how many times'. :'(tmr im starting again my attachment at NUH. dafta 3 weeks of attachment, im free for 4 weeks. i can enjoy! go here, go there. yippie! but im damn scared bout my results. i dont knoe if i did well. wad if i hav to take sub paper!? nooo... :'(there's a festival temasek at Yew Tee CC on the 13th march 2006. please do come n watch it. its free of charge i guess. hehehe... come n watch it yea.. support TS. not CHIMANDE. i hate her. argh.
.Monday, February 20, 2006
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hmph. wad a dae. down. depressed. sad. tears. drop. down. sat for my paper with a heavy heart. haix. i'll keep loving u honey. no matter wad. haix..
.Sunday, February 12, 2006
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haix. im missing u now. so much. ur gal chat wit me again. not dat i didnt want her to chat wit me. but, if she want, plz dont talk bout u. she's like boasting dat hey, i got the guy dat u love. so i can tok bout hym. den she asked for my help. she asked me if i can msg hym asking hym when he wants the laptop back from her. i was like, u got internet, den u can sms hym online wad. y the need to ask me to msg hym. nmpk sah u like want me to feel so like argh. its ok. den at last she sae its ok. no need to msg. wad the %$^$!! n i knew it! the lembage at his blog is her! wad?! argh. another heart pain. arrrgghhh....
.Saturday, February 11, 2006
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i cant take it. i cant deny dat i still love hym. i donno why. makes my heart pain when i c his gal. so pain. dat i cud just sit down n cry my hearts out. why? why r u making me like dis?? please. stop haunting me uan. please. i hated the wae dat i cud nvr hate euu, syg. arghh.. i just wish dat u two can just break up. dats wad i want. haiz. but i knoe dat euu n her r just so much in love. haiz..... :'(haiz. chattin to my so called rival,(ho0dA), it seems to be like so pain ful. each tyme she tok bout uan/wan. just makes me wanna cry even more. ive had enuf. n she wud b there at the festival. to participate in it. she's from Keluarga Besar Pewaris Budaya Pusaka Karuhun Aliran Cimande(KBPBK)argh. i dont wanna c her face! no! get lost huda! get lost! pleaseee..... oh god, please give me strength. please. i need strength from you. i need someone. i need it. i cant handle my life alone. esp my love life. please gimme the right path. oh god. please help me through my life. please.
.Thursday, February 09, 2006
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f-r-i-e-n-d-s-h-i-p.
hmm. dats the word. i guess tat me n eeta wud be ok alreadi. she told me tat she was sorry for making me feel bad the other dae. i guess ur forgiven my dear. yesterdae i went to my cca. i wasnt officially in the nyp silat. i just went there for fun to watch them training. but den in the end, not many plp arrive. only a few. den i decided to proceed to lamsoon cc to continue my nite training there. my eyes started to make problem. it was so red dat i took out my left side contact lenses. so i went to lot one witout any lenses at my left eye. potect! hahahaha. lol. den go lamsoon alone. sat down at the block eating long john. it was kindda early. so no one was at training yet. den one by one came. he came too. was so glad i cud c his face. den i heard tat todae he's meeting his gal. aw. dat hurts. ouch. ok. nevermind. i still care for u my hon. lol.
ok. im so bored out here. ive got noting to write about. i just have to tell myself now to START STUDYING ANA!!! adious! ***muaksss*** love you***miss you***('*')/<3***
.Wednesday, February 08, 2006
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well. i mite be busy nowadays. so i mite not be able to update anything as yet. i mite change a new template too. wiait up for my bloogie. heh. byeee.. miss you, uan. <3 shh... hahaha.. lol.
.Tuesday, February 07, 2006
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oh well. basically ive got nothing to write on. yea. i want a picture of all those whu knew me. just one passport size photo please.. i want it for memory. haha. i got my grannie's photo when she was young. so jambu! i'll paste it soon. i cant wait to paste some pictures here n in my friendster. do check it up yea. oh yea.just now me n my frens went to sfogs website for FUN. serious. n we looked at the pictures. some was scary sia. only the strong heart cud watch it. i warn u. i wouldnt go to dat webby eva again. hah. lol.
.Monday, February 06, 2006
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hey there. seems like a decade i dint write in ma blog. well, things hav been happening. i'll share bout wad happen on sat.hmm. sat i went to madrasah as usual it starts at two and ends at 4.30. so afta the madrasah, with two big bags coz we're gonna overnyte at MEC for extra training, i n ayeisha we thinking to go town. but i ended up at bedok's long john silver. i hated if plp last minute wanna change the venue of the place. argh. den when i reach there all of them(kamal,izee n other plp) had finished eating. den i just bought the food. den the service also very the slow sia. i think she was a new recruit. 1st she serve food so slow. den she nvr took the money from the person in front of me. den i had to wait for her to go to the person, take the money n giv the money back to the person. wad the. argh. den fed up sia. the manager saw my unhappy face n told her to quicken. den i ordered to her. tu pon she wanted me to sae another tyme. den she kena mara wit the manger. until she forgot to gimme the fork. how am i suppose to eat? arrgh. wad kind of service do they give?! fine . lets drop the topic.den we went to training at kembangan. reached there gonna b maghrib. den me, ayeisha n izee was lazee to join the trainin, so we helped kak hajar to count the numbers of presents tat was there. on sat, we had a small celebration. for 'awal muharram'. we usually celebrated on our own gelanggang, but den cik jo wanted to do it together. so there was kindda many plp. n i got two packets of sweets in my present dat i got. u knoe wad i gave? i gave a big sharpener! haha. thank god a lil girl took it. hahaha. klau a tenage boy or gerl took it, i donno wad to sae. hahhaa.. den afta dat, we ate, n we continued wit the meeting for the seniours when everythin's had settled. a meeting bout admistration was being brought up AGAIN. was unexpected coz i tot it was suppose to be a lecture on sports. oh well, seems like they're taking advantage of us. yea. finish the admin matters at midnyte. we had a short break n continued wit lectures on sports stretching. abg rad told us the ryte wae to stretch, the muscles dat involved. everyone face was like tired. eyes cudnt take any longer. ryl was sitting beside me. i donno wads the reason for tat. hmm. haha. den they keep saying 'nurse' n everyone look at me. malu.. den we ended the meetin at 2am in the morning! TIRED SIA. den we cant sleep. there was only a carpet for us to sleep. me n ayeisha was on the floor lying wit some other gals. den the guys was so noisy dat i cudnt sleep! somemore the weather was so cold dat i was curling myself. i forced myself to sleep. ayeisha was sleeping soundly coz she took the slimut to become the bantal. n i had nothin. argh. C00OLDd.. cudnt sleep but manage to close my eyes for a while. the guys wasnt sleeping. they keep laughing, walking.. wonder if they cud survive the nxt dae.nxt dae, woke up at 5.30am to wash up. den at 6.30am, we had a meetin. cik jo brief us on TS. mental n spiritual. syoik. haha. i've gotta go to some mosque to take the phamplets. got things to be done. this was asked by cik jo n im gonna do it. it was fun la. the wae cik jo elaborated bout 'something', i wanted to knoe more. so i wanna go n take the challenge. Insya Allah. hehe. den at 8am the festival athelets proceeded to yew tee cc for studio training. 6 guys in abg zaki's car. n 10 plp in cik jo car. imagine how squizy it is. haha. i was at cik jo's car. wasnt that squeezy. we stoped by at east coast to buy breakfast. n kak alya took out $62.30 for the total amt. wow. we all ate in the car n proceed to UT. den training was on ganda. me n ayeisha. i was the bad character's mistress n ayeisha's the heroine. heh. so we had to do ganda. imagine. hehehe. so great. cant wait. end up i had blue blacks on my back. was so painful dat i cudnt even sleep on my back! den reach home at 12pm on sundae. me n ayeisha bathe at the CC. coz at kembangan we didnt bathe. i wud sae, EVERYONE didnt bathe. haha. two daes we wore our silat baju. haha. imagine. but good la. no smeell u knoe. hah. reach home onli, i go sleep was so tired. i cudnt think of anything except sleep. well, overall. i had fun. even though my exam's nxt week, i still had fun. haha. so im gonna start to b serious now. gotta study. so enuf of story telling. im outta here i hope. haha.
.Saturday, February 04, 2006
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i'm tired. you make me feel this wae. i told u everything. i opened up & let u in. u make me feel alright, for once in my life. now all that's left of me, is wad i pretend to be together. yet so broken up inside, i cant breathe, i cant sleep. im barely hanging on.we did not plan it to be this wae,but things hav gotten so bad between us,i dont see us being together ever again,like we used to be.i guess it was never meant to be,but its just something we have no control over,& dat's wad destiny is.sorry;i love you.
.Friday, February 03, 2006
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ok.. i met my mentor at 9am just now. i tot i wanted to be cool n be myself la.i wanted to make joke wit her. ok. i bought breakfast n ate first. n den i met her. she talk to me bout my past results. she was almost happy la. den she touch a topic on who am i close wit in the family. wow. dats a sensitive topic for me. something dat i didnt want to happen, happened. mayb for a reason. i didnt believe dat i broke down infront of her sia! so malu. i didnt knoe how the hell did i broke down. she said dat she shudnt hav bought the matter up. but i think its ok. i told her bout my family. how m i wit them. she told me dat they did alll the things for me bcoz they love me. do they? nah. i donno. she asked me la a lot of questions n she also nag at it. i was thankful. heh. she's quite nice i wud sae. den until i forgot to take the nyp shirt from her. argh. now my eyes are puffy. haha. kewl. yea. i told her dat im trying my best to keep happy, both inner n outer. haha. lol
yea, yesterdae we had 6hrs of break ryte.. den me n my frens went to ang moi kio to shop. i didnt buy dat much la. just spend most of the money on food n drinks. den we walked past this TAKA jewellery shop. the salesperson gave me a phamplet. i was thining to throw it away. but den i didnt knoe wad was on my mind, i go n read it. n there was this ring, which was suppose to be sold at $59, was on a sale for $3! i told my fren n quickly we went there coz it was 'while stock last' we're like a fool asking where's the $3 ring.n there on the counter, was a few rings. but den some of it were big size for me. my hand so skinny la.. heh. den i found this unique ring. it was suppose to be meant for a bracelet i think, but then they make it like a ring. so i took it n asked if they cud make it bigger for me. then i like it n bought it. it was $3!! serious! a ring from $59 went down all the wae to 3bucks! hehehehe... so kewl ryte.. den i actuallie wanted to buy a watch. but den i didnt knoe if it suits me or not.. n im sure if i buy, sure ibu n ayah will like, 'bnyk duit kau ade.' lol
outta here. having lecture at 11. byez... :P
.Thursday, February 02, 2006
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hmph. ryte now at sch's comp lab. we're suppose to end at 6 todae. n now, we hav nothing. so its 6hrs break for us. wahhoo. so0o0 long sia. but my frens wanna go shop at the nearest shoping area which is at ang mo kio. haha. donno wad they wanna buy. so i'll just sit down n watch wad r they buying. (its not fair). haix. ayah gave me $20 on wednesdae. so dats my expenditure for dis wk? argh. mane cukup sak. $20 can like last me for only 2 daes. den wad am i suppose to eat on thurs, fri, sat n sunday?? wad more is dat im staying over at tadika muhamadiyah afta training on sat. there's a crash course goin on. so some of us had to overnyte there. n i dont hav any money! aarrrggghh...
.Wednesday, February 01, 2006
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heart pain when get to knoe ur bestie said tat to u, knowing dat she knoes wad is in ur heart. of course im jealous u contact wit uan. u didnt tell me. i found it out maself. wad hav u done? n yet u told me to get a life? eh! of course. dis is my life. MY LIFE. MY LIFE!! u think u wad? u knoe everything ar. wad happens if u r at my state? wont u feel wad i feel?"nemind since u r like dis. guess u must b somesort jealous or somethin coz im in contact wit wan. i tell u wat, ur just s0o over-reacting ok. for goodness sake wake up! im not being rude ok but plz la, c'mon, takkan org contact dia semata mata nk make u jealous. if u think dat wae eh, ive nothin to sae but ask u to get a life."-dats wad she send me.aaarrrrggghhh... wad the #%^#%**&. ok. fine. u want me to get a life. im gettin a life ryte now. i dont knoe. just get ur ass out of here. if u had enuf of me, just sae it. now, just get lost. do wad u wanna do. i hope the secret dat i told u is still being kept. if not, im ready to get another news.den we'll c if u r the true fren.now im at home, early morning wanting to write something. i'll b busy at skewl den. having exams nxt two weeks. i dont knoe if goin silat wud make me happier todae, coz i'll c his fcuking face there. ayeisha wanted me to go to sp wit her to c how the silat trg goes. but when i think the second tyme, i dont think i wanna follow her. i'll c a face whom i dont wanna c at the time being. oh god, wad wud happen to me. yesterdae b4 goin for the meeting, i met my bro as he had bought me something. glad though. i wonder when can i open it up. heh. den lil sis was sick yesterdae, so cudnt open tat thing. den the meeting place was at chai chee. we were early n the only once at the house wit the family. the meeting was suppose to start at 2, but it started at 3. gosh. n we ate while we had the meeting. den went back home at 8. wah... 8 hrs at cik jo's house. some of them mandi bunga. but me n lil sis didnt want coz we didnt bring extra clothes. cik jo told we the procedure n gave us limau purut to do it at home. on the wae home ayah kirim the bedok's chendol. but too bad, the stall was closed. perhaps still enjoying CNY. hah. yea. den went home wit ryl's family n seperated at the bedok mrt. n left me n ayeisha alone. there's this cute guy sittin beside me. aww. so cute. but i think he's a chinese. coz he looks like chinese. hah. oh well, dats it. im gonna eat. haixx.