.Friday, April 28, 2006
Y
hmm.. ok.. ive just watch finish watching kal ho na ho. heh. now gonna look out at everyone's bloggie n read 'em. todae gonna go for training. hope dat my lil sis is coming todae. i need ur help since abg z not ard. thanks to talhah too yea. cant forget bout shah. miss u la shah. so long never talk to u. how are you doin? hope ur doin fine. hehe. ok. i'll update later. gotta go!
.Wednesday, April 26, 2006
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(teman tapi mesra)
she feels incure? for wad must she feel insecure?! ive got nothing to do wit hym no more. she got nothing to feel insecure coz she hav hym by her side to keep her secured. unlike me. haix. why wud she b so ragu ragu for his love? does dat show dat she love hym so much? yes. i think so too. oh well. lets just take it dat i dont love hym no more ok.. just to make things simple n easy. i love hym indeed. hahaha..
hmm.. tmr starting skewl at 8 in the morning! till 6pm! argh. wad the. aaarr.. n got 4 hours in between. wad are we gonna do? think dat my frens n i are gonna watch kal ho na ho tmr! yahooo! n yea. i bet we'll cry in tears! hahaha.
hmm.. shud i go to gym or shud i go swimming? which one is betta? swimming u'll feel cool. but tired afta doin strokes. go gym, got air con, no use one. pespire come out, but den air con, so no fats release. n yea. wad for i wanna loose fats. unless i wanna become thinner. hahaha...
i guess im gonna make a move now. ive done my tutorials, ive update my blog. n yea, i need a new hp!! cud anyone trade it up for me?? i want the new nokia phone..... oh please... hehehe. i'll dream bout having dat slide up nokia phone tonite..
sleep tyte everyone! gd nytes darling!! yay! muaks! miss euu!
.Monday, April 24, 2006
Y
now in the lab room doin some research. i wud b home ard 9 later if i didnt go n meet anyone up for dinner. my stomach is growling by now. but i hav to endure till 5pm later. gonna hav lab lessons at 6 later on. n we'll be learning bout parental medications. which means dat i have to learn how to inject! hehehehe. ouch. dont worry. i wont let myslelf to poke u guys. so dont get nasty wit me or i'll poke u wit needles anywhere. wakakakaka.
bout yesterdae's msg which i received from her, i didnt reply as i didnt want matter to get worse. lets see if she's gonna msg me again tonite. if she is, i dont knoe wad am i gonna do afta dat.... now my mind is fully wif thoughts bout wad am i gonna do? haix. i just cant keep my mind at ease! argh............
.Sunday, April 23, 2006
Y
-------hmm.. i hav to wait.--------
wait for wad? haha. i got it. wait till i cud get my emotional stable? hmm... o_O hahaha
ryte now waiting to sleep. i didnt had enuf sleep as i was 'busy' doin things at home. im t0o lazee to update. but i miss being online. chattin to those whu wud talk to me. n those whu wudnt, they just get lost.
ok. i receive a message from HEr. she suddenly ask me. 'do i still love hym?'
my god. wad am i gonna do? why is she asking me? i want to sae. yes. i do. n why do u ask? its non of ur business. between me n hym is over. n let it b. i just cudnt take another other thing. argh.............
just spoil the mood of mine. gd nyte. living in tears tonite. 0_o :'(
('*')/<3
.Monday, April 17, 2006
Y
wanting hym to come online. but it seems. there's no sign of u. haix. eeta pon not online. she sae she's gonna b online. but no. not a sight of her. haix. its ok. let me b alone. i need time to b alone now. not in a good mood ryte now.
i just wanna get myself a life!!!
GET A LIFE ANA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
LEAVE ME ALONE,
LET ME SUFFER.
MOHAMED RIDZUAN AZMAN.
I MISS U. I REALLY DO.
.Sunday, April 16, 2006
Y
......it seems so near, so near. but yet, its indeed so far away.......
to hym:
sayang, ayang, darling, hubby. i cudnt say all those to euu. especially those three words; I LOVE YOU or I SAYANG YOU. i tot dat i had already forgotten half of our past. but, indeed, i lost. i lost totally. totally lost in my emotions.
-why must euu keep haunting me?
-why are euu still on my mind?
-why do u alwaes appear in my dreams. those dreams, were wonderful. if only dreams cud come true. argh..
- why do i hav dis kindda feelins whereby i am totally confused bout love?
-why do i have to cry every nyte as the days goes by?
-why do i hav to cry bout u, knowing dat u wont cry bout me?
-why am i not strong enuf to put aside this love?
-why cant i move on, knowing dat u alreadi moved on?
-why do i keep thinking bout euu, knowing dat euu are thinking bout someone else?
-why cant i forget bout euu, when i knoe dat euu've forgotten bout me?
-why do i miss euu, when i knoe dat euu wont miss me?
n
- why must i still love euu, when i knoe dat euu love someone else??
cud u just tell me WHY!!!... :'(
sayang, there u are, happily enjoying wit ur girlfren, here am i standing at the siderails looking at how happy u both are. looking at ur happy face, does makes me happy. but behind this happy face, lies a heart dat is broken. a heart dat wants to be placed back neatly. a heart, which truely loves euu. a heart, which misses u a lot. but then, i showed a strong heart. even though its broken. a smile :) dats wads makes the dae.
i knoe euu wont come back to me. its fate dat we dont belong together. mayb its all fated. im not fated for euu. she is. she loves euu. she told me dat. i knoe euu love her more. euu used to sae dat u'll love me more than u'll love anyone. but i knoe, dat was the past. it had nothin to do wit the reality.
to euu... take care of urself. count urself lucky dat euu hav plp dat loves euu. u left me almost 8mths ago. but. i cant deny.
i love euu still.
yours faithfully,
ana....
.Tuesday, April 11, 2006
Y
something is just not ryte wif my blog. i cant hear my song n the snowflakes arnt snowing. argh. y iz dat so??
('*')/<3
.Monday, April 10, 2006
Y
i hate plp who just makes us wait for them. it just pissed me off. i wont b early. i had enuf. argh. hav been busy a few daes back. n dis wk, im pack with things. sleeping over at my grannies' n goin back to skewl to buy books. haix. skewl starting SOON. i mean, very very soon. argh. beginning of second yr. another 2 more years to go. i hope by the end of this year i can start the practical lessons. dats IF i passed the b t t and the a t d. argh.
im just kindda bored out here. nothing much to do at home. at last i received my results. n indeed, thanks to god, i passed! alhamdulila. n yeah, manage to go to 2nd yr. DUHZ. lol. yesterdae went to Angsana at Johore Bahru wit my family n of course not forgeting my aunt. it took us at least 3 hrs to reach there by public bus. argh. how i just wish i had a car. yeah. we ate, we went window shopping instead. my mom doesnt let me buy things i dont even knoe why. i wanted some of the things there. but she said go other places n c 1st. ok larh. go other places. but at last, didnt buy wad i want. she's like dat. makes me so fed-up. argh. yea, b4 we went home, we ate again n reach s'pore at 8. hee. we bought a lot of food. dounkin dounarts. aww. makes me feel hungry. argh. (ur fasting ana.)
my aunts bf is in the camp ryte now. i wonder how's he's doin. i heard from my aunt tat her bf sae dat for navy n air force, there izznt much of malay guys. hmm. i wonder why. izzit bcoz they discriminate the malays? why? izzit bcoz our malays 'no body'? why? hmm... i wonder if dat can b explained...
.Thursday, April 06, 2006
Y
one week left till skewl reopens. n ive yet to receive one of my exam results. argh. scary. wud i b able to pass? how ashame if i failed. argh. but it was my mistake coz i dint actuallie did it well coz i had troble wif someone dat dae which cause me to b emotionally down. argh. lets dont brood bout it ana.
i dont knoe wad else was there to write about. my mom was telling me to take a theory test. ahhh.. i cudnt c my own self taking the test yet! so scary! hmm.. was thinking if... er.. nothing. W-A-D-E-V-A.
im just bored.
.Tuesday, April 04, 2006
Y
haix... continued from the previous entries.
hmph. i dont knoe wad else to write. wad can i sae bout my rship wit my parents. its just totally not wad u think the only child's family is. every family is different. n yea, i hav to accept that my parents are not like wad i think they wud b. they gave me almost everything. but there's is one thing tat they hav not given me yet. that is the closeness between a child n the parents. i cudnt bring myself up to talk to them bout guys, bout my studies, bout wadz trobling me, bout sex, its basically anything personnal i cudnt talk about. n y izzit so? bcoz they didnt hav time for me. it not tat we dont eat together during meal times, we do. we do. but as we eat, they didnt talk bout any topics dat's concern me. argh. wadeva. i'll stop here. too much for me n i think i keep repeating.its ok. life still hav to go on...' -end-
hmm.. now staying at home. yesterdae my frens n i went out to serangoon to walk ard. haha. yup. serangoon. hmm. at 1st we went to mustafa center. we ate tosai at ABM. aiyo. didnt buy dat much. just bought chocolates(for myself) n a liquid eyeliner. hmm.. just testing out things. hmph. so bored dis week. not sleeping anywhere coz non of my relatives asked me to. hmph. cant wait for skool to opens. den i can go skewl. n get money. n study. i miss studying. but it stress me. duhz. lol. cant stand the boredsome. chiau...
[because of u, i try my hardest just to forget everything]
.Sunday, April 02, 2006
Y
sitting at home is tough. u cant get to c ppl. u cant walk away from the nagging. argh. u knoe, being the onlie child is very challenging, esp if u hav a parent who are reaching the age of the whites. hah. i just dont get the idea, why ppl think dat being the only child, they get wad they want all the times. NO. i'll tell u straight to the face. NO! but i think so too uh. hah. i dont knoe wadz up wit me. i knoe i am the only child. i hav my own decision. n i do respect my parents. but i dont knoe, ryte now, as i am growing up, i feel dat im not close to any of them. in total, i hav 5 babysitters in my first 12 years. yup. up till pri 6. my parents, both r workacholic. last time, when i was being babysitted, they woke me up early in the mornin, to get ready to go to the babysitter's house. they then proceeded to work. n later in the evening at 6, they wud pick me up n bring me home. so, i can sae dat i hav lost 3072 precious hours wif them the last 12years. n yet, till now, they're still working. so, now, early morning when im still snoring, they went to werk. when i wake up, no one at home. i have to prepare my own breakfast. den go skewl. den come back skewl n they're not at home yet. so i do my own stuffs. n my mom came back home at 6. den my dad, he'll sometimes b home at 7 or 9 at nyte. i hated when my mom nag at me, telling me dat i didnt study. but wad the #%&^. does she knoe wad did i do during the hours dat she's not at home? does she even cared to ask wad happened at sch? any special things? no.. she didnt ask.. my dad, when he's home, he'll wash himself n den put himself infront of the tv. all along n front of tv. only come to my study room to c wad was i doin. wad the &#$%&. dats y.. i dont watch tv dat often. when frens ask me for eg, if i had watch a show yest which was the hottest things ever, i wud sae no. i didnt watch. i feel so left out. left out wif my frens n esp wit my family. *sobs* (to b continued).....