.Saturday, August 30, 2008
Y
i pampered myself buying a mp3.
which i got another mp3 for free.
cost only 135. 2gb.
ok ah.
nice.
not bad.
slim. samsung.
told ibu tat im gonna giv her the free item.
she's happy the hell out tat she's gonna give back my aunt her mp3 back.
haa.
today mite b the last day that people wud b able to come over.
as cck house wud b rented out soon to i dont know who.
haix.
im so gonna miss this place.
the times.
the memories.
friend, i heard that u looked sick.
looked pale.
very pale that i got frightened n scared for u.
we know that u hav to work.
but work is work, rest is rest.
humans are not machine.
even machine needs rest.
y didnt u take care of urself?
didnt u eat?
didnt u hav rest?
didnt u sleep?
haix.
i know im now no one to text u.
the urge was there, but who knows i mite b disturbing you.
its been a very very long time.
please.
take care of urself.
if not, find someone that cud take care of u.....
TO SOUL IGNITIONS:
congrats that u all won 1st and 3rd for 2 catagories in MacD dance comp!
keep it up.
make ur MANAGER(me) proud again nxt tyme.
.Saturday, August 23, 2008
Y
having no plans today at home seem so dull.
so i planned to follow dad to grannie's place at marine parade.
its been a long time since i met my grannie beside my dad.
met up with my 3 cousins.
super young, super naughty.
the youngest 1yr plus, is so cute.
yet so heavy.
people were looking at me as if im the mother of tat child.
haha.
lol.
if only i cud have experience on how to bring up a child.
haha..
dinner was at laupasat today.
reached there at 8pm, got seats easily as people not ard that much.
loud music,
nice view.
but the food wasnt as much as we expected.
it was raining the whole day and we cudnt sit outside.
we were just on time when after eating, there was a fireworks just started.
ibu, ayah and my aunt all was concentrating at the fireworks.
last year, i got to watch it with someone close.
this year, i watched it with my family.
i wonder what bout next year.
how am i gonna watch with?
alone.
i pity myself.
not getting a chance to eat at work.
starving myself.
having no appetite,
having migraines over n over.
some times i felt weak.
no one just bothered.
i forced to work.
forced to cry.
forced myself to forget.
.Saturday, August 16, 2008
Y
show me what lyfe is.
the meaning of lyfe.
typing with tears rolled down.
i felt sad.
a week without work seems to make my lyfe empty without people ard me.
i felt so empty.
e-m-p-t-y.
no one knows.
smiling along all the way.
when they're asleep, sitting by the window, looking up in the sky wondering why.
why is my lyfe this way.
if God is trying to test me,
ive to b strong.
but strong? without guidance?
i hope i can make it.
i felt bored early morning.
the rest sleeping soundly whereas im wide awake.
i wanted to go down alone to walk ard.
but i was scared.
i texted him. but i guess he's asleep. sorry.
den i met up with shah.
talking under the blk.
updating each other.
shah, dont worry, klau ade jodoh tk ke mane.
tunggu, sabar for the one.
and yea, now without any sleep, im forcing myself to work.
i felt so lazy to walk.
help.
.Thursday, August 14, 2008
Y
sitting alone at home.
nothing to do.
boredom.
coz i dint get to edit pictures.
3days straight im off.
nothing to do.
just rotting.
going out with my aunt.
no others.
but her.
i dint get to see the others.
dint getta go home last friday.
just met them up in the early friday nyte,
n meeting them again on sat.
went to watch the fire works,
with so much fun, yet feeling down deep inside.
ibu said she wud b getting back the shop.
so meaning i'll no longer b staying in cck.
my house, its empty.
i miss this house.
i'd b home this friday nyte.
so, as normal, do tag along.
but the days at home didnt seem ryte without those people that i wanted to meet.
but i aint forcing no one.
im just forcing myself to understand.
im ashamed.
ashamed of myself.
went to sentosa with my aunt yesterday.
had a suntan, and a good soak down in the sea.
getting down there, shots of thoughts running thru.
the days all of us went there.
where the truth reveals.
but STOP.
i aint going further.
im ashamed.
STOP TALKING BOUT WHATEVER THAT HAS HAPPENED.
moving forward.
being ashamed of myself.
i need guidance.
for self confidence.
i cant keep on living this way.
which way is the best way.
wishing happiness.
to everyone.
.Monday, August 11, 2008
Y
a song that ive listened to over and over again.
the words.
the meaning.
the voice.
pertama kali ku bertemu dengan mu,
sayu nya hatiku merindui dirimu.
walaupun belom kita bersua muka,
namun aku tetap jatuh cinta...
pertama kali ku bertemu dengan mu,
hatiku terpaut melihat senyuman mu,
aku mengharap engkau menerimaku,
kerna aku bersedia menerimamu...
akanku renang, lautan yg berapi,
membuktikan kehebatan cinta ini,
tetapi jikalau kau meninggalkan aku,
terhiris hati ini terguris jiwa ini,
menangis tak berlagu....
ooooohh..
biar pun ombak yg berubah pantai,
kasih ku tk akan hancur berderai,
biar pun hari, berganti hari,
dirimu tetap ku nanti... ooohhh...
sayang ku pimpinkan tangan ku.
menuju mahligai bahgia.
kita bersama nikmati kisah cinta.
hidup bagai disyurga..
ooh.. kasih...
_______________________________________________
i'd post some pictures up soon...
and post some story...
.Wednesday, August 06, 2008
Y
dear friend,
i miss you. i really do. i tried so hard. so hard. but every where just reminds me of u. watching how peoples have their friends around them, i just feel like having one too. i missed those times we hang out. i missed those times we played bowling. i missed the first time that i ever talked to u. basically, i just miss you. i miss riding on ur bike too. i ever wondered when wud b the nxt tyme i'd ride, it mite possibly years down the road. by now, i guess everything is over. u drifted far away. i know, u're busy. and i am busy. im keeping my self busy too. sometimes after work, i just wished that you wud turn up and picked me up. but that's how i wished. i know. im just wishing. but it doesnt get true. duhz. but i am happy, happy that i ever found someone like you, knowing someone like you. you are my friend. thank you for the joyable moments n memories.
.
Y
a lot of mysterious behaviour u wud find if u're working on nyte.
patients sleep walking,
talking to themselves in their dream.
hahaha.
i tell u,
even thou it frighten us a bit,
we cant help giggling n laughing about.
finding dentures in one of their cups when u want to giv them medications.
haa..
its a please of mind knowing that younger people than u are in love now.
mayb it sometimes mite hurt, coz till now, insecurities still running in my blood.
it mite be coz till now, having the ryte one is still far ahead.
sometimes its just tat we cant get what ever we want.
sometimes we just cant answer to all the questions.
had a great fun goin out with my aunt on my night shift.
we went out to the bridge that links from telok blangah hill park to mount faber to harbourfrount.
haaa.. we went hiking.
but without big bags,
just a bag.
.Saturday, August 02, 2008
Y
still in the ward,
awaiting to hand over.
im still.
nothing to be done.
left only to feed the last patient.
tmr gonna be working in the morning.
gotta wake up. shine.
im having my nights again this coming monday and tuesday.
gotta work hard.
gotta earn as much money as i can.
im gonna make myself busy.
busy without anything on mind.
but deep down.
a different thing lies inside.
no one seem to know.
no one seems to care.
no one seems to ask.
things seems so well.
i guess it is.
not brooding bout it seems impossible.
talking bout that is possible.
but nothing comes out.
nothing.
everything starts to drift away.
we shall wait and see.
one by one.
pieces by pieces.